Excerpt from High School Assembly at start of the year, Fri 23rd August:
Today’s message it’s a bit different to the usual start of year message – I don’t feel the need to be entirely upbeat, after doing that for so many years. I think there is already a positive appreciation and shared understanding of who we are, and what we are trying to do. So this one will be a little different – I want to say a little bit about things that we do not always remember to talk about in public; that may be (wrongly) associated with some fear and shame. Some of this may be a little hard to hear, but most of us know it… we just sometimes hide from it.
But before I get to that, let me just remind you about what our Alumni consistently tell us; that they were not always aware of how great their school experiences were, until they left and no longer had them. We’re confident you’ll feel terrific about school when you leave too.
So for now have that in the back of your mind…because what I want to talk to you about today, is what happens between now and those warm happy memories. And I don’t mean the many great bits of school – sports, great lessons, service music, drama, art, dance, trips, activities… but there’s also the really difficult bits; the bits when despite these great things, you don’t feel so good.
Let me show you one reason you may feel not so good during a school year:
Funny video, but serious point – learning can be hard. I remember struggling when studying a topic – Green’s Functions. I had a great teacher; he spent time 1-on-1 with me; explained it in several different ways, kindly and patiently; but every time I thought I got it, and he asked me questions… and I realised I didn’t get it. And I never did. I remember how sick I felt that I just couldn’t get it, when most of maths had come to me quite easily until then.
So there will be things you cannot do – perhaps you’ll struggle with understanding the periodic table, or learning a new language skill. Or remembering how to spell, say ‘Armageddon’. Don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world.
Of course learning is by no means the only possible point of difficulty, just the one I started with because I had a funny video. Our lives are about far more than just learning. Difficulties can arise for all sorts of things – perhaps things are not going so well at home; perhaps you’ve fallen out with your friends; perhaps you are finding a new school bewildering; perhaps you are questioning your identity in some respect; perhaps you have some physical or mental health issues perhaps you’ve had some traumatic experiences.
These are some of the many things that can be hard, really hard. And 100% of us will have something like that at some point – but here’s the thing; at any specific time, perhaps only 5% of us will be in difficulty. So when we look around, what do we see? We see nearly everyone is doing absolutely fine; and we think it’s just us.
It means that when we have our difficulties – teachers, students, certainly I do – we look around and we see others who seem to be OK. Not everyone is, of course, but it sure looks that way. And so we may feel even worse – isolated, and even different to others. And that can be toxic. But the truth is, it happens to us all at some point. So if you remember one thing from this talk – remember this – it’s OK not to be OK. You have plenty of people to talk to when this happens. We are here to help.
But let’s broaden out from the individual to the HS. So what can we do for people who are not OK?
The metaphor is a simple one – that school is like a road; we are thousands of people going about our business, weaving in and out. But sometimes there’s someone who is struggling – so the question is – do we even notice? The people who do not stop in the video are not bad people; they probably were so wrapped up in what we are doing, that they were unaware. So the first thing we can do is just look out for each other – just notice who needs help.
Can we each be the person that stops the traffic for the people who need it?
But actually, I’d like to go a bit further here. Stopping the traffic is all well and good – but it’s not enough.
As well as noticing, and making room for people – can we actively just lend a hand? Just a few seconds of help made a huge difference to that pedestrian – it might have prevented an accident; it certainly made a tangible difference. I think that’s what we want for our community…. and you know, this is not only a ‘let’s be nice for other people’ idea. It will benefit us all – if we are all there for people who need it – then that means there will be people there for us when we need it.
I am really excited about the year and I hope you are too. I know that if we all look out for each other, and operate in a culture of kindness, then we can have a happy and successful year and find headspace to appreciate all the wonderful events that lie ahead. I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy. But I am telling you it’s going to be worth it.
Have a wonderful, happy year.
